So, OK. Secretary Salazar found his way into our good graces earlier this week by approving a modest 2010 offshore exploratory plan for the Chukchi – basically will allow Shell to drill three separate test wells further than 60 miles from shore, and maybe, just maybe, provide some clarity regarding whether the $2.1 billion investment it made there in 2008 is worth its salt.

As noted, the news out of Washington wasn’t exactly an unconditional slam dunk. As Shell’s Pete Slaiby noted in the Washington Post on Monday, the Salazar announcement is only one half of the equation — to actually start exploring out there, EPA will need to get off its can as well:

Shell officials called the MMS conditional approval a positive step but noted the company is still waiting for an air discharge permit from the Environmental Protection Agency.

“It’s critical that we achieve this permit in a timeline manner to enable a go-ahead decision on our 2010 program,” said Shell Alaska Vice President Pete Slaiby.

But, OK. At least the secretary is doing his part to move this thing closer to the goal line; and for that, he deserves some encomia. Consider those granted. But then we get press releases from his department like the one we got yesterday – ones that make us stop, reflect, and occasionally laugh out loud.

The release is entitled: “Salazar Announces MMS Plan to Establish Atlantic Renewable Energy Office” – a title that belies the hilarious nature of what’s contained therein. But then you go ahead and read the first sentence:

COPENHAGEN – Today, as he toured the Middelgrunden wind farm near Copenhagen Denmark, Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar announced that the Minerals Management Service (MMS) will establish a new regional office in 2010 to support renewable energy development on the Outer Continental Shelf (OCS) off the Atlantic seaboard.

Apparently, Secretary Salazar was so inspired by his boat-ride to Middelgrunden this week that he felt compelled – right there and then – to declare it his government’s intention to do something bold – something unprecedented: open up a regional permitting office for offshore wind at the Jersey Shore.

OK, so maybe it’s not buckle-over-in-writhing-pain hilarious, but seriously – if the rest of the world doubted our country’s commitment to addressing climate change before, there simply can be no doubt any longer. Secretary Salazar and his new seashore permit stand has officially put an end to all that.  

We know he’s busy in Copenhagen this week, but wonder if he’ll ever get up to Alaska to see some of the energy resources we’ve got offshore as well?

UPDATE: Interesting sequence of events here, upon further inspection.

On Wednesday, the Danish wind turbine manufacturer Vestas announced its intention to continue paying 500 employees at a currently idled plant in Salazar’s home state of Colorado – you heard that right: continue to pay them full salary for producing ZERO new wind turbines. And then on Thursday, Salazar visit a Danish wind farm – one in which Vestas has a significant stake (as would be expected, considering it’s Denmark). Probably just a coincidence, is all.

UPDATE II: In addition to wind, did we mention that greener-than-thou Denmark produces a ton of oil and natural gas offshore as well? Secretary Salazar’s press release didn’t indicate whether he visited any of THOSE offshore installations on his boat ride to Middelgrunden – so just in case that little part of Denmark’s history was omitted from his briefing materials, we include this (by way of the Toronto Globe and Mail):

In reality, the Danish economy is more dependent on fossil fuels and the wealth they create than at any time in the country’s history. The fuels come from the North Sea, whose reserves gave Denmark its first oil production in 1972.

In 1990 Denmark’s oil production was 7-million cubic metres (one cubic metre equals 6.3 barrels). Production peaked at 22.6-million cubic metres in 2004. In 2007, the figure was a still-hefty 18.1-million. Natural gas production has doubled since 1990.

A reader reminds us that Maersk Oil is especially prolific in these parts of the North Sea; this map of its existing offshore production facilities (lifted from its website) would seem to confirm that.

For those who continue to cling to the argument that oil and gas exploration is allowed to take place en masse without proper environmental assessment or oversight – or that permits issued by the federal government are a mere formality – consider the press release that just popped into our inbox today from MMS.

“MMS Determines Shell Exploration Plan for Beaufort Sea Complete,” the statement reads. Well, that’s a relief. What kind of plan are we taking about, exactly?

Shell proposes activities limited to the far western area of Camden Bay, including use of one drillship with one tending ice management vessel drilling two wells over the course of one year.

Two wells in the far western end of Camden Bay? Itself located in the remote Beaufort Sea of northeast Alaska? Not exactly a pell-mell rush to drill the peak of Mt. McKinley, is it? Wonder if there’s any way to determine when Shell originally submitted this plan for consideration to MMS.

Gotta love the Internet. This comes from a story published on February 1, 2007:

In a Beaufort Sea exploration plan filed with the U.S. Minerals Management Service, Shell Offshore Inc. has proposed to drill … in the Camden Bay area of the Beaufort Sea … Sivulliq, formerly called Hammerhead, lies due north of Flaxman Island on the western side of Camden Bay. The prospect contains a known oil pool penetrated by two exploration wells drilled by Unocal in 1985 and 1986.

So let’s see if we have this straight: Two-and-a-half years after Shell submitted its exploration plan to MMS, the agency is finally getting around to acknowledging its receipt. At least, though, the work of producing Alaska’s energy for the American people can begin now in earnest, right? Now that MMS has deemed the plan to be “complete”?

Not on your life. In addition to waiting for Interior secretary Ken Salazar to “review [the plan] carefully to ensure that it is technically sound” before being allowed to move forward, the MMS press release lays out just a few last minute things that need to be addressed as well:

Before MMS would allow activity to proceed, Shell must also meet the coastal zone management requirements of the State of Alaska, air and water quality rules by the Environmental Protection Agency, and Marine Mammal Protection Act requirements of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service and National Marine Fisheries Service.

Got all that? Keep it in mind the next time someone tells you that oil and gas companies are marauding about the landscape in Alaska, dropping wells wherever they please. Only if they’ve got the requisite 3,153,032 permits in place first, it seems. And even then, they should expect to sit back and wait a couple years for the bureaucrats to review their application.

Good thing our nation doesn’t have any serious energy challenges to confront…or else a system like this might be seen as downright silly!